Suffering

"I have learned to grip loosely the things of this world for it hurts badly when God pries them from my fingers."

~Corrie ten Boom

This year has been a difficult year for me.  I have never perceived myself as a strong person, and I am learning that I still need to develop into a person of strength.  I feel like I have been stripped of so much and I am now raw and extremely vulnerable.  And here is where God is doing things with me.

For the first time in my life, Job's words hit a chord in my heart.  I have never identified so much with him as I have this year.  The darkness, the suffering, bearing injustice, the alienation, the attacks from every direction, and so on.  Even as I write these words, the emotion of all the pain is welling up in my heart and my eyes.

"Faith is not a magical shield out of suffering."

~Todd Pruitt

Some may ask, "Where is God in all your suffering?" and others may ask, "If God is so good, why does He allow this to happen?".  First of all, God is never our divine genie to give us what we want all the time, nor has He ever promised us a life of ease and riches on earth.

Secondly, and more importantly, I have learned that I may never have the answers on this side of eternity, and I am alright with that.  God has always had His plan, and His purposes will be carried out.  I can trust in His goodness and mercy, even as I stand in awe of His holiness and power.  If there is something within me that is not good for me, like any good parent, He will remove it from me through whatever lesson necessary.  The more stubborn and rebellious I am, the more it will hurt; but the job will get done.

I am still learning to apply the words of Corrie ten Boom.  I am loosening my grip on some things in my life, but I still have a pretty strong grip on things overall.  It does hurt badly when those things are not good and God pries them out of my life.  On days like today, even though I know He is refining my faith, weeding out the bad attitudes and sinful nature from my heart, I fear.  I fear because of these words in a sermon last month, "Sometimes, faith will be the very thing that threatens my physical well-being."

I am grateful to Jesus for without Him, there is no hope or future.  Without Him, there is no strength.  Without Him, there is only condemnation.  I pray with all my heart that I will have a faith that endures for all eternity.

Temptation is for destruction.

Testing is for perfection.