Heart of Compassion

Recently, in the course of conversation, I finally figured out something about myself and shared it with my spouse.  It was simply this -- I have a problem with compassion, or rather, the lack of it.  

I realise now that I have been wounded deeply so many times by people dear to me that I hardened my heart each time it happened over the last 3 decades.  "I will never allow myself to be hurt again" became my mantra each time.  Strange enough (as if!), my heart did harden itself, to the point where I found myself actually unable to feel for people.   In arguments with my spouse, I have to be told to be compassionate and not to be so cutting.

Interestingly enough, I remember praying for a heart after God's own heart -- a heart with compassion for people, the same people He created and cared for.  Perhaps He sent those events in my life to develop my heart of compassion... and I just made the wrong choice each time to harden my heart.

I guess what I am trying to say is: I need to learn to be compassionate, and only by God's grace will I ever get there.  I know I will get there.  Again, only by the grace of God.