Right in the beginning of this week, I had a tremendous argument with my spouse. The atmosphere at home has since been very chilly. Interactions have been very limited and extremely strained. It was two days before we even spoke, and that was out of necessity -- we were forced to interact in public. Frankly, I was furious for the first 3 days after the argument, and then simmered down to just being very angry.
There are many issues related to, and stemming from, the argument. Yet again I questioned if marriage was not the biggest mistake I ever made and considered, almost determined to, emotionally "checking out" of the marriage. (Divorce is not an option.) It has been a tremendous struggle this week. I frequented the dark place of my deep anger, and stayed a while. Many parts of me kept saying, "I am done!!"
A few minutes ago, I finally settled down to today's devotion, which talked about adventurers and their faith.
"The power which has moved adventurers is faith."
Hebrews 11:1 (ESV) states "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Past adventurers like Abraham, Columbus, Balboa, and so forth, never saw their destinations before setting out. They just went on the adventure, absolutely and positively convinced of what they would find. They took the journey, the good and the (mostly) bad, all out of faith, out of a belief in the Divine Being they would bring glory to.
I cannot help but think of this one line stuck in my head for some odd reason that "marriage is an adventure", the journey which two people embark on together. I know what a good marriage looks like, and we are definitely not there (yet). There will be good out of this journey, despite all the bad in it. I believe that simply because I believe God. And when the good comes, it is solely because of Him.
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